When I see the same kind of problem cropping up in my client’s press releases again and again, I figure that it’s time to write a blog post about it. 

Frequently, when my clients ask me to edit their press releases, I see headlines which ramble on and on and take too long to get to the actual news.

Here’s a made up example. Let’s say a personal trainer who lost a bunch of weight is releasing an exercise video for busy moms. 

Bad headline:

"After Years Of Battling Obesity, Debbie DooALott Loses 50 Pounds, Gets Personal Trainer’s License And Releases Exercise Video For Busy Moms"

No. 

You don’t cram the whole story into the press release’s headline. And you don’t bury the news so people have to hunt for it, because they won’t. They will get bored and move on.

Better:

"Personal Trainer Releases Exercise Video For Busy Moms" is just fine as a headline.

General rule of thumb: Start the headline with the subject, then follow it with an action verb of some type.  Then say what the news is.

"Lex Luthor Announces Defeat Of Superman" – Lex Luthor is the SUBJECT. "Announces" is the ACTION VERB. "Defeat of Superman" is the NEWS.

"Batman Reveals Truth About His Relationship With Robin In New Tell All Autobiography" – you get the idea.

A person or a company "Reveals, Announces, Hosts, Is Awarded, Merges,", etc.  Just like a news headline.

Good headlines can be read and understood at a glance. To get an idea of how to write press release headlines, go to prweb or webwire and read a dozen or so. You’ll start to get a feel for it.